You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
