it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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