I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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