I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
