I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
