: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
