I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
