i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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