I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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