3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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