My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
