sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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