Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
