mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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