Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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