I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
