fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
