Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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