I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
