I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
