He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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