we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
