weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
