im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
