I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
