Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
