I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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