Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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