thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
