I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
