At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
