Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
