Swine flu. Run for my life!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
