I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
