I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
