It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
