i need an iv and a liver transplant
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
