..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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