I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
operation have a gay friend backfired
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
