he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
