I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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