Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
