He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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