Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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