is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
