Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
