My underwear smells like fireworks.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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