quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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