He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We need to get me chipped asap
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
