i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
