windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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